The Secret Blogger: My Dad can beat up your Dad…

My dad

Written by ‘Steven Johns’ *

“My dad (coach) can beat up your dad(coach)…..”

Is it just me or do 99% of people associated with combat sports claim to have the best training/coach/gym going? I’ve lost count of how many people name drop their coach only for me to think, “who the f-ck is that?” 

So obvious is my confusion that they usually proceed to tell me how many ‘world titles’ their coach holds. Yaaaaaawn!

Speaking of world titles, I have also lost count and lost interest in anybody who has ‘ibbjjjff world champ’ on their Instagram profile. To my knowledge unless you win ADCC or EBI, or…….actually they are the only two anyone gives a shit about nowadays; so yeah, unless you won at the BIG tournaments like those two, no one gives a shit if you won the ibbbjjjfffff anything, because there are literally thousands of you claiming to be world champions.

I guess that’s down to everyone of you having ‘the best coach ever’ who also has a endless list of ‘world titles’ to his or her name. Most of those were probably won on points or via an advantage so shut up!

Going back to the coach thing, when was the last time they competed? What was the last event they won? I understand that some coaches are amazing at motivating and making students feel great and teach life lessons as well as techniques; but, unless they destroying other coaches in the ‘Underground Secret Coach Fight League’, the only thing they are ‘the best’ at is making you feel like you’ve got a set of balls and not a vagina tucked between your point-scoring-position-holding legs.

How about the next time someone asks where you train or who gave you the ‘oh so important coloured device for holding up your pants’, just say the gym name and/or your instructors name and then say “Ah man, our gym is so friendly and fun and also great for technical learning. We’ve got people of all levels there, so come along if you’re in town, we would love to see you” don’t follow it up with, “Personally I wouldn’t be a ibbjjff world champ without having the best coach in the world…etc”, because that, my friends, is the f-cking problem with people today: 

Toooooooo muuuuuuch hyyyyyype! 

Keep it real, p#ssies! 


* = Steven Johns is the pen name for our guest blogger. He is a former professional fighter, who is still involved in the industry.